I woke up this morning to brilliant sunlight.
“Hola, my yellow friend!”
Although the sun is the brightest star around here, I can still see millions of other lights in the background. The Sun seemed closer than normal today, though.
“Are you getting bigger, or am I being drawn in by the strength of your gravity?”
If I was actually being drawn to the sun, then this could get disastrous.
“Hot juju, this is bad.”
I’d been in space for a few years now, and among my many adventures, I hadn’t stopped to consider where I was heading. It seemed obvious now. I’m a dude, a single dude floating in space – there’s no way I can resist the pull of this mega-star.
“I got to stop this! Maybe if I try swimming backwards!”
Swimming backwards? I guess I’m still sleepy. I tried it all the same but my course continued on a trajectory towards the sun.
“Could this be the end of Prince Joe?”
Ever since I had accidentally been jettisoned from the space station (I was trying to flush a particularly grotesque bit of doo-doo and I guess things just went a bit wrong) I had somehow managed to survive. My space suit ensured that I could breathe and I found that biological rules that applied on earth no longer applied in space (the need for food, water, and a comb).
“If I’m going to get out of this, I’m going to need some help.”
I guess it was about six months earlier when I had met Gran Aurora. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen – a moving rainbow that swept star clusters, asteroids and colours along in a path of light and blur. She had come to my help once before when Joe Cool had met some rather nasty dark matter who tried to sabotage his spacesuit.
“Aurora’s gotta be around here.”
“Yo, Aurora! AURORA!”
I tried hollering, but you can’t hear nothing in space. Fortunately, the Gran had given me a signal to use if I needed her assistance again.
Out of my back right pocket, the one with a zipper not a press-stud, I pulled the tiny bugle of hope.
Dut-ta-da-duuuuu!“Come on, my lady!”
I thought I made a pretty good impression last time. I’d charmed the good lady with some freestyle poetry and gave her my last toasted teacake as a way to thank her for getting rid of the dark matter.
“Where you at?!”
You can’t mistake the Gran Aurora. She sails in space. Here she comes now traveling at many times the speed of light, more expansive than a solar system, more colourful than a Picasso.
“Prince Joe. We meet again-again-again.”
Her voice has some crazy delay on it, and the final syllables ring out across the universe.
“Oh, brother. Am I happy to see you. You looking even finer than before. I feel some beat poetry coming on.”
“Spare us, please-ease-ease.”
“Aurora, you can’t ignore her, you got to adore her…”
“Ech, here we go-go-go.”
“… she fire and water, she brick and mortar, sail the night sky like a starship explorer…”
“Prince Joe, do you need some assistance-ance-ance-ance?”
“Oh, yeah. Now, as you know, my good lady, I been traveling this sky for the past few years. And I’m alright with that, you know. I get to see things most people only dream of. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. I seen all that.”
“I am aware-aware-aware.”
“Well, it came to my attention this very morning as I awoke, that I’m dangerously close to the Sun. If it ain’t too much trouble, could you push me in the right direction, namely a course away from the Sun?”
“Prince Joe, you know I am here to help you. Human space travelers are rare. As a higher being, I will aid you. Just call on the bugle-bugle-bugle.”
“Why that’s grand! Thanks for all that.”
“To put you on a safer path, Joe Cool, I will carry you along in my wake. Prepare yourself-f-f.”
I don’t know why she say that cos I didn’t have no time. The next thing I know, I’m being swept along with the stars and asteroids and all that ying yang stuff.
Prince Joe ain’t never done drugs, none of the LSD, or Mary J, y’know. He value his life. But If I did do take substances to alter my state of consciousness, I would imagine the results would pale in comparison to this experience. It’s like comparing a cup o’ Tesco’s own instant coffee and a finely brewed cup o’ Hawaiian Kona Kai. This stuff’s the real shizzle, you know. Any of you seen 2001: A Space Odyssey? It was like that. Colours, lights, speed, sounds… it was tripped out.
Gran Aurora is one swell bird. She saved my ass for a second time. Now I don’t know where the Dickens I am, but at least I ain’t heading towards the sun. It looks like I’m going to have some fun in my new home, though… Gran Aurora left me in a new part of space that I ain’t never seen before… there are planets and stars, satellites, meteorites, and terabites. Above all, there are other astronauts floating around like me… this is where I belong.
I’m gonna search for Mae Jemison…I feel another adventure coming on.
Prince Joe Cool in Space
End of Volume 1
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